quiet please this is a library

Today, as on most Fridays, I was forced out of our flat by the neighbour upstairs sharing this week's top 100 hits. While I don't mind a bit of Black Eyed Peas or Lady Gaga, such an environment simply isn't conducive to reading Plato. I reluctantly made my way to the library and settled myself at one of the tables in the magazine/newspaper section. It must have been the time of day because ten minutes later I found myself questioning if I was in the library or if I had mistakenly walked into a pensioners home. An old man came and sat across from me and may have gone unnoticed had he not blatantly lifted his left bum-cheek and simply let rip without a glimpse of shame. As I tried to feign ignorance and focus on Socrates arguing the nature of morality, an argument in my present surroundings caught my attention: a bit of a scuffle had arisen over the Investors Chronicle. The man across from me had the sought-after magazine in his possession, a lady to his left was claiming that she had been looking for it first so it was rightly to come to her next and there was a third gentleman who begrudgingly admitted defeat and said he would just wait his turn. Once a compromise had been reached the arguing man and woman got to chatting to pass the time. Five minutes later a lady in her little knitted hat and cardigan shouted at the two of them, "This is a library and you are not supposed to talk and you have been talking for half an hour!" The response was somewhat defensive but nevertheless the offending couple skulked off to a corner to leave the hatted granny in peace. At this point, the man across from me broke from jotting down investor tips, looked at me and said, "Oh dear, everyone is getting into trouble today. You had better watch out or you'll be next. You'll get into trouble for reading a book instead of reading a newspaper...reading books in the library...how old-fashioned..." He then smiled and continued his reading.
I was just sorry that I usually sit in the study area and miss all of this action. What a great way to pass the afternoon, although I'm not sure how much studying would actually happen.
I reckon I'll probably be a library dwelling granny one day, booking my place in the queue to catch up on the latest news and huffing at those who break the rules. "Quiet please, this is a library..."