strength

All I have is the strength for today. And sometimes not even that.
The last few days I have been questioning God as to why, in certain areas, his plan for me is so different to what I had envisioned - why my yesterdays were less than perfect when I have always committed my way to him; why things probably wont go exactly my way tomorrow. When I'm only equipped to get through today, such questions are draining for my spirit. I wonder what I can change about myself or what I need to learn before he will grant all my desires when really HIS desire is that I just get through today the best I can. The further ahead I look, the more overwhelemed I become. You see, life is too much for me to handle on my own. My wisdom only extends to my experience so far and unless I'm willing to surrender my all I will never overcome my irrational fears of the future.
He's got the whole world in His hands. And what a heavy world it is.