okay to change?

Summer is running head-first towards London. I can feel it in the air. I wake up in the mornings (with greater ease) and catch the sun trying to sneak through the small openings in my dark curtains. I’ve had to start carrying my sunglasses in my bag or I end up squinting all the way to work and I’m at the age where I really have to be mindful of premature frown lines.
Sitting at my desk is slightly more bearable thanks to the sunbeams caressing the Thames and even if I don’t have work to do, at least I have a pleasant view.
And as is typical of me at this time of the year, I’m feeling very restless. This change in the seasons always stirs the need for change within me. I spent a lot of time thinking about my “plans” this weekend. What do I want to do with the next couple of years of my life? Where do I want to live? When will I be able to pack it all in and start to see the world? Is that what I really want? It’s just that life can feel so limiting sometimes. I blame my inability to make decisions based purely on what I want and the need to consider every other person involved before I will let myself admit what I actually want. At times, this has caused undue stress and slowly a nasty little thing called bitterness begins to creep in, where it then grows like a weed before I’ve even noticed that it’s taken up residence in my spirit. This is simply unhealthy.
I know I do need to change something. Even if it’s only my hair. I promise to change my profile pic if I decide to go fiery-red or snotty-green (or something equally as drastic). But don’t hold your breathe. I’m likely to first consider how everyone else would feel about it.