what happened to miss independence?

It’s been a crazy week and I’ve enjoyed a combination of moving house, meeting Ian’s family (they’re lovely!), connect group and fitting in a bit of work and study here and there. I feel like I haven’t had time to even stop and think for, what seems like, ages. I realised today that no matter how I’ve felt in the past few weeks, someone has known about it. Some would find this to be a re-assuring thought that they are not alone, but sometimes when I’m sad, I just want to get it out of my system without feeling like I have burdened someone else with my troubles. Yet, I always do. Then, when I’m alone, I wish I had someone there to comfort me. Confused?! Me too.
I think you reach a stage in your life when, all of a sudden, your independence starts to surrender to companionship and you find yourself struggling to cling to what is familiar. I vaguely remember the days when I used to thrive on alone time; watching a good movie and devouring a large bar of chocolate while the world could continue as it wished as long as I didn’t have to partake. Now, however, the thought of such an evening has lost its appeal in the idea that I could be sharing it.
I used to see it as strength of character to be able to spend time alone without craving the company of another. Now I see that true strength is found in the challenge of not resisting change but by embracing natural instinct and accepting that true independence is not always about being alone.